My First Run and more Reverse Culture Shock

Dear Judith,

During my time in Saipan, I ran occasionally on the beach pathway, and a few other venues, though those stopped after the infamous "Koblerville Incident". I ran a couple 5Ks and really enjoyed getting more physically fit.

Since coming back to America, I've experienced some shortness of breath due to the high elevation. That had decreased in frequency, so I assumed I was ready for a run and today was the day.

Krystin and I started running at cabin 9, with the plan to run to the second teepee of Camp Morrison, for a total distance of 2 miles. We began and I was feeling pretty good, but we weren't even a mile in when I had to stop and walk because my lungs were burning. It was a very frustrating feeling, because my body wasn't tired, but I simply couldn't get enough air.

I was able to run the full mile back, but it was definitely a strong reminder that I am no longer in Saipan. Oh, how I would give anything to go back. Today has been a particularly hard for no particular reason. I found a preschool toy in my pocket today. One of the kids must have put it in on my last day. I nearly broke down in the middle of staff worship. Also, Sean had to put the video of Rhonda and my long walk, which is probably the cause of my current emotional mood.

Just a rough day.

At Camp

Dear Judith,

I'm sorry. I didn't give you enough credit last year. I didn't understand the trials of being back in America after being in Saipan. I'm sorry for not listening more, because all I want right now is for someone to just shut up and listen to me talk about my class and my life in Saipan.

Jonathan and I drove to camp today. It was a lovely drive, though a bit long for my taste. I'm used to a max of 30 minute long car rides. We arrived and I unpacked everything into my cabin (cabin 7--woot woot) and went into town with Krystin.

We were back by 7 for worship and we were then released for free time. I went back to my cabin, grabbed my computer and came to the staff lounge to chat with Saipan friends. When I was missing people too much, I decided to call Rhonda, ruling out Angie and Cristina because it was too late to call them. We talked for maybe 30 minutes and I felt better while talking to her and worse when I was done.

I don't know how to talk to people and I'm always cold. I just want to go back to Saipan and leave this dark, cold, and lonely place. I don't know how you survived, Judith.

In America

Dear Judith,

I'm extremely tired, sick to my stomach, and completely lonely, all signs that I am back in America.

Saturday night was the teacher goodbye party for Rhonda, Nicole, and I. The rest of the teachers are staying on for another year. It was a good night, full of picture taking, good conversations, games, and of course, plenty of tears.

Rhonda and I left Saipan at 4:30 in the morning on Monday. Walking through security and leaving everyone was the hardest thing I've ever had to do. To make it worse, a close friend had written me a letter which I read while waiting to board the plane. In retrospect, that probably wasn't a very smart idea, as it only increased the flow of tears.

Rhonda and I separated in Guam and I went on to Honolulu, which was about a seven hour flight. I barely slept at all, but I also barely cried. I waited in Honolulu for a couple of hours, then continued on to Seattle, where I had my first taste of Starbucks since Tokyo in November. It made me completely sick to my stomach.

It was a short flight from Seattle to Boise, and I sobbed the whole time. I felt very bad for the lady sitting next to me.

My parents and Krystin met me at the airport and it's been a whirlwind ever since. I'm in Walla Walla now, and really struggling with the social side of things. It's hard when you've been gone for a year, but I'm sure that will come with time.

I miss Saipan and my life there more than anything. I would trade anything and everything just to be able to go back. I don't feel like I fit in or belong here anymore, and I just want to go home. Pray for me Judith, please.

My Last Sabbath

Dear Judith,

This year has flown by and I can't believe that it's nearly over. Rhonda and I fly out on Monday morning and the rest of the girls leave on Tuesday. I'm not ready to leave and I don't feel prepared to deal with the world that is waiting for me in America. No part of me wants to be back there. I don't know how to deal with my feelings, but crying has proved a viable option.

Yesterday, I went to the preschool for the last time. I was fine, until I said goodbye to Taka. He held on to my neck so tightly, and I didn't want to put him down. I'm not ready to say goodbye.

Tonight is the goodbye party for the three of us who are leaving. I would give anything in the world to trade places with Angie, Cristina, and Megan, who will be coming back here next year. I'm just now starting to get to know many of the elementary students and I have to say goodbye.

Though she wouldn't like to admit it, Rhonda is having just as much of a hard time as I am, and I can understand why. Her kids are amazing. All the kids here are just fantastic, and the thought that I may never see them again is unbearable.

Please, Judith, pray for me in the coming weeks. I don't know how I'll survive them.

Australia

Dear Judith,

Oh boy.  I have not blogged in such a long time.  It's a beautiful Friday afternoon in Saipan, and Krystin and I are sitting at Java Joe's, drinking soy chai, and I'm trying to remember the details from RCT's trip to Cairns Australia.  

We left on a Thursday afternoon.  In the airport, we were assigned children to watch.  I got Joy and Tali, and we quickly formed Team Jet.  Everyone was jealous of us.  Our motto was, "We enter with style!"  

We stopped in Guam for a bit, and everyone ate dinner.  The kids were so excited to get Burger King!  I was lucky to have an empty seat next to me, so a friend came to sit by me.  I practiced my Japanese and wrote in my journal on the 4 hour flight.  

Customs took awhile longer than it should have, due to some of our props, but we finally made it out and loaded up into some taxis.  Our taxi, however, did not start, so Carol, Megan, Michi, and I had to wait for another one to come get us.  

We arrived at the Bohemia Resort and were amazed at how nice it was.  We settled in for the night and woke up early Friday morning for our show at the Cairns SDA Elementary school.  It went well, and the little Australian children were so cute!

We were lucky to have the afternoon off, and we went to Cairns Tropical Zoo.  It was epic-ly awesome.  I held a koala and fed kangaroos.  I loved it.  

We had a performance that night at a church plant, and they seemed very receptive, especially to our Lifehouse pantomime.  

Saturday started off with a performance for Youth SS, followed by church and a yummy potluck.  Some of the kids went with Sean and Rhonda to be on the radio, and the rest of us got ready for the afternoon performance in Edmonton.  Again, Tali performed beautifully, and they weren't many dry eyes in the house at the end of Lifehouse.  

The evening was spent playing volleyball and wandering around the Night Market, and the money began to disappear.  Australia is very expensive.  

On Sunday, we went to a lake and went tubing and kneeboarding.  Amy, Michi, and I left a little bit early, trying to make it up to Kuranda, an aboriginal village, but we were too late.  By the time we got there, almost everything was closed.  We sadly went back to Bohemia and chilled until bedtime.  

Amy left the next morning, so we had no more cars.  Rhonda, Michi, and I tried Kuranda again and this time we had great success!  It was a really cool place, and it was a neat experience to walk through all the shops.  

We left that night, headed back to Saipan, but not before hitting up the night market again.  I spent so much money, but it was well worth it.  Australia was a really great experience, and I feel very lucky to be able to have gone with some of my favorite people.  

Miss you Judith.  I haven't heard from you in a long time.  Hope everything is great!  Love you!

My Last Day of Tutoring

Dear Judith,

As I'm sure you know, tutoring is a great way to earn some extra money while living on Saipan, and I have been lucky enough to tutor two great kids since I got here. Ricky moved back to Korea a few months ago, and, sadly, my last day to tutor Charlotte was last Thursday.

Charlotte has been awesome. I love her and I was really sad to end my time with her. Most of our time was spent talking (I justified it by telling myself that I was helping her with her conversational English) and playing hangman. I really grew to care about her a lot.

We accomplished practically nothing on our last day, but we did take lots of pictures and eat lots of candy. Here are some of the best ones:

Yoshi

Dear Judith,

As my time on Saipan draws to a close, my mind is constantly filled with thoughts of my class. Here's some more of them.

Everything in the world belongs to Yoshi. I learned that pretty early in my time as his teacher. He is the only boy and the youngest in his family, which has led to him being completely and totally spoiled rotten. In anger, he has hit, pinched, and bit me. He never listens when you ask him not to touch something, he eats the other kids' snacks (keep reading for a story of that), he is loud and obnoxious when asked to be quiet, and I love him more than I could have ever believed to be possible.

At Lee's Birthday Lunch

Yoshi is one of the cutest kids I have ever seen. His big eyes, chubby cheeks, dark hair, and easy laugh have all found their way into my heart. He loves his papa, and it's adorable to see how close they are.

A few weeks ago, Yoshi told me that he had eaten some cereal out of a classmate's cubby. I informed him that that type of behavior was not okay, and then asked why he did it. He answered, completely matter of factly, "Because I was SO hungry!" I really tried not to laugh, but I just couldn't do it.

Yoshi and I play a game nearly everyday at naptime. It started off simply enough. "Oyasumi nasai Yoshi," I said, so proud of the fact that I'd learned more Japanese.
"Oyasumi nasai Miss Jaimie...osaru" (Translation: Good night Miss Jaimie monkey)
"Oyasumi nasai Yoshi...osagi" (Translation: Good night Yoshi rabbit)
And so the game began. We go back and forth, always trying to come up with a new word. Perhaps I'm easily entertained, but I always end up trying to laugh quietly so I don't disturb the rest of the class. It works out well for him though, because it means he can stay awake just a little bit longer.

One of my biggest breakthroughs this year was with Yoshi. I nearly cried when it happened, and I'm sure that teachers are the the only people who could understand why. I was standing, cutting paper for an upcoming project. Yoshi was on the floor, and it was right after snack time. I wasn't really paying attention, so he grabbed my leg. He looked up at me, and said, "Miss Jaimie?"
"Yes, Yoshi," I replied.
"May I play with the blocks?"
To fully understand why this was such a big deal, you would've had to have been me, struggling for the past few months, trying to make my class understand that before you play with a toy, you must ask. Yoshi had asked. He asked.

Sleepy, coming back from a field trip

Yoshi teaches me Japanese, he gives me hugs, he falls asleep in my arms almost everyday. My mind, my body, and my soul will surely feel empty when he's no longer around to fill me with his joy and laughter.

My heart breaks with every second that brings me closer to leaving these precious children.