Dear Judith,
The AirCon hums rhythmically, and the gentle sound of harp lullabies floats across the room. It's naptime in my classroom, but my eyes are wide open, watching for any signs of an wakefulness. This is my favorite time of day. I'm skyping Sam and eating my lunch of Filipino Skyflakes and peanut butter. Vangie is trying to coax Bunny back to sleep, but I don't believe she will be successful. She's one of the most willful little girls I've met. A trial, sometimes, but I love her, and I know that she's going to be a s
trong woman.
Sometimes, I sit back and wonder who these children will be when they grow up. Jonathan is very sanguine. Banana will be the popular girl, Suki will be the quiet, but friendly intellectual one.
I worry about who they will be when they grow up. Will J. ever catch up with the rest of his classmates? Will K. ever calm down enough to undergo some major behavioral modification? And then my thoughts drift to myself. Am I making an impact on these children's lives? I often forget that they are only babies. Monkey just turned 3 on Saturday. Will the structure that I provide for this year be enough to set the tone for the next? Sometimes i wonder if I'm doing anything more than giving hugs when they're good and time-outs when they're bad. While my precious children are sleeping, I'm analyzing my every action, praying that I'm doing everything I can for these children.
Did I let Potato get away with something because he's cute? Did I indulge Monkey while punishing D. for the same crime? Even as I speak, I am disciplining Bunny who has decided to invoke her freedom to not lie down at naptime. I feel like everyday is the same with little or no progress made.
Whoever said that preschool wasn't stressful must have skipped right to kindergarten.
The AirCon hums rhythmically, and the gentle sound of harp lullabies floats across the room. It's naptime in my classroom, but my eyes are wide open, watching for any signs of an wakefulness. This is my favorite time of day. I'm skyping Sam and eating my lunch of Filipino Skyflakes and peanut butter. Vangie is trying to coax Bunny back to sleep, but I don't believe she will be successful. She's one of the most willful little girls I've met. A trial, sometimes, but I love her, and I know that she's going to be a s
trong woman.Sometimes, I sit back and wonder who these children will be when they grow up. Jonathan is very sanguine. Banana will be the popular girl, Suki will be the quiet, but friendly intellectual one.
I worry about who they will be when they grow up. Will J. ever catch up with the rest of his classmates? Will K. ever calm down enough to undergo some major behavioral modification? And then my thoughts drift to myself. Am I making an impact on these children's lives? I often forget that they are only babies. Monkey just turned 3 on Saturday. Will the structure that I provide for this year be enough to set the tone for the next? Sometimes i wonder if I'm doing anything more than giving hugs when they're good and time-outs when they're bad. While my precious children are sleeping, I'm analyzing my every action, praying that I'm doing everything I can for these children.
Did I let Potato get away with something because he's cute? Did I indulge Monkey while punishing D. for the same crime? Even as I speak, I am disciplining Bunny who has decided to invoke her freedom to not lie down at naptime. I feel like everyday is the same with little or no progress made.Whoever said that preschool wasn't stressful must have skipped right to kindergarten.
4 comments:
what's this. . .you're blogging and you didn't tell me? :)
And such a unique format too. . .the letters to Judith. Genius! I'm always interested when someone has a creative and different way to blog. I shall look forward to reading Judith's mail!
Dear Jaimie,
Isn't it amazing how quickly we become attached to our little ones? In a matter of days our identity has become completely wrapped up in their success, happiness and well-being. Your heart is so fully engaged and I wonder, how did this happen, so quickly and wholly?
Chances are, you're doing everything you can and it still won't be "enough" in terms of creating perfect children. However, what they receive from you--your love and concern, is immeasurable and beautiful. Aren't we both so lucky to experience something so great as loving and being loved by children?
Have peace my friend, I'm glad for your words today, they're good company in this lonely airport.
Happy birthday, you crazy kid,you!
:hug:
Dear Jai,
I have been whisked away by reading your conversations with Judith. Back to a time when I also lived in a strange land, when I ate strange food, and heard words that were strange to my ears. To a time when all of the skills I had learned to cover my insecurities suddenly didn't work any more, and I was forced to hang on desperately to God with both hands.
But it was also a time when I discovered the joy of serving, and seeing the lives that God was able to touch through my blundering efforts. And occasionally there were tears in my eyes as I saw His love reflected in the lives of those I served (okay, maybe more than occasionally!).
Looking back, I am so thankful that I went and gave a year of my life. And I am so proud of you for stepping out and giving of yourself. You will never be the same.
Happy Birthday, Jaimie!
Pops
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