Smoke slowly curls upward, rising from the purple cone incense, both enticing my senses and relaxing them. It's another Friday evening in Saipan, my time for reflection and quiet. Fernando Ortega softly plays from my speakers, reminding me of my home in the States. It's been a trying week, made more stressful by my flu-like symptoms, one of the joys of working with children.
Monday was Commonwealth Cultural Day, so the elementary campus had no school, but preschool functions as both school and childcare, so I was at work like normal, though I was feeling awfully sick. Monday seemed like it took forever, and I was exhausted by the time it was over. As soon as I got home, I crawled into bed and stayed there, though it was only 5:30.
The sheer beauty of innocence
Bunny has been very disturbed lately, crying over nothing, refusing to eat snack, and refusing to be comforted. Though I originally thought that she hated me, she's started to like me, and everytime she cried, my heart broke a little more. I try not to let them know it, but each of those kids have me wrapped around their little fingers. Tuesday afternoon, Bunny would only stop crying if I was holding her. Wednesday afternoon, she and her brother, Daniel, were the last kids at the preschool. Daniel kept asking why they were the only ones left and where their mom was. I wanted to cry more and more with each time he asked. By 5:30 (the kids are supposed to get picked up at 5), Amy said that I could go home and leave them with Ms. Kathleen. I grabbed my bag, kissed them both, told them how much I loved them, and started to walk towards the door, when behind me, a small yet strong voice said, "No!" I turned around to see Bunny, this girl who seemed to hate me, refusing to let me leave. I told her that Oma was coming, but this did nothing to appease her. She began to cry, but I had no choice. I walked out the door, her cries echoing out the window, and falling on my broken heart. I later found out that their mother sent a taxi to pick them up. Bunny is three years old and Daniel is four.
Daniel, probably laughing at silly Miss Jaimie
Their father seems kind enough, but their mother seems cold and unfriendly, especially to Bunny. Pray for these children who seem to be lacking the soothing comfort of a mother in their lives.
Today was a better day. Bunny was happy and let me take pictures of her. She's a beautiful girl when she smiles. Daniel is not in my class, but I'm his teacher for afternoon care. He was cussing again today. I've had to talk with him on a couple of occasions about his language, and today was the last straw. He seemed repentant, but I can only hope that it made an impact.
Bunny, happy to be outside
Judith, I love these children so much. Bunny is independent, which I love, but she needs someone to set up loving boundaries. Daniel is a trial because I only have him in the afternoon, so there's very little consistency. Their mom says that if their business (Clean Laundry in San Antonio) doesn't pick up, she's withdrawing them by the end of October. Not only do I think these children need me, but I think I need these children. Pray that they don't leave my life.
I'm finally beginning to see why I'm here.
2 comments:
I've known all along why you're here. We are so blessed that God called you to love these kids this year. Thank you!
Awww, I miss those kids! The brother was in my class. I'm so glad you are there. Send them my love!
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