Korean Food Adventures/Tutoring

Dear Judith,
Exposure to a new culture is a wonderful thing: the language, the culture, even the food. Tutoring is a great excuse to learn more about another country. In my case, that country is Korea.
It was a regular morning at preschool about a month ago. Belle's mom dropped her off and stayed around for a little bit. Out of the blue, she asked me about tutoring her 2nd grade son, Ricky. No idea what I was getting myself into, I agreed. Communication proved difficult and it took at least 10 minutes of negotiating a price.
The Apa (Father) is in Korea, and Belle and Ricky are the only children. I'm still not sure if the Oma (Mother) works, but they live in a nice apartment complex with a generator and a swimming pool.
You might know Ricky--he was in 1st grade at SDA last year. He goes to SCS now, but everyone seems to remember him. He's very hyper and very unfocused. The first couple of days, I wondered if it was worth the money I was getting paid. Slowly, things got better in that area.
Every night, Oma makes me dinner. One of the nights, she made me hota, which is like a pancake filled with sugar. It was amazing, so I was left with a false sense of security about my dinners. Later that week, she made me another pancake-type thing. I timidly put the fork to my mouth, chewed and swallowed. I closed my eyes and prayed for the strength to eat all that was on my plate. I took another bite, and looked down at my plate. There, staring up at me, was a cute little tentacle with white suckers. It took all that I had to not immediately vomit. I stopped eating it, felt like a terrible guest, and thanked my angels when she took the plate away.
After that, I told her that vegetarian meant all meat, including seafood, dinners got better...kind-of. There was still the night that she fed me a donut, but I prefered that to octopus. A few days ago, she gave me an onion bagel with peanut butter and jelly and a fried egg. I did not eat it, and again, felt terrible. Last week, I was eating noodles, and I made the mistake of asking what something on the table was. Ricky informed me that it was squid, and asked if I wanted any. When I declined, he pushed the matter, finally dropping some into my noodles. With a "plop", my dinner was over.
Tonight, they took me out to eat at the buffet at World Resort. Almost everything was seafood. I walked around, hoping to find something that was vegetarian. I've never been so happy to see a salad bar. Ricky offered me some soup, which he promised was just corn chowder. I was just about to eat it when Belle found an octopus tentacle in hers. I'm so thankful that I hadn't eaten any yet.
Despite all of the strange foods that I've been introduced to, I love this family. They are so warm and welcoming, and I feel at home the second I walk into the apartment. They're attempting to teach me some Korean, though I'm failing miserably. Ricky is calming down, Oma and I are improving in our communication, but one moment tops them all. After tutoring one day, Belle kept looking at me and saying, "Oni, Oni." Ricky looked at me, smiled, and said, "That means sister."
I may be thousands of miles away from my house, but this is my home.

Another Weekend in Saipan

Dear Judith,
As I write this, Rhonda and I are waiting for the other girls to come pick us up so we can go do laundry and sit at Java Joe's. It's our tradition to get Chai Latte's and an oatmeal raisin cookie every Sunday while we wait for our laundry.
Yesterday was my birthday. Rhonda bought me our favorite treats from Ebisuya and chocolate soy milk. Ken and Crystal invited all of us over for lunch, and when I came in, it was decorated and the girls bought me a couple little things. Though it wasn't as much of a surprise as they were hoping for, it was nice. Last night, Amy and Nicole came over and we watched a couple of movies.
This morning, I walked to the Elementary school and met up with Rhonda. We got spring rolls from Spicy Thai, then walked to the beach. Unfortunately, fairly soon after we got there, it started raining in the traditional Saipan way. By the time we walked back to the Beach House, we were absolutely soaked.
We drove down to Garapan and walked around a little bit. Everything is so overpriced down there, but it's fun to look.
I'm amazed at how quickly I've become completely comfortable with this place. As I was walking to the school, one of the dogs started walking towards me and growling a little bit, and without even thinking, I scared him away. It didn't seem odd at all, just part of my normal life. As we walked around Garapan and people stared and honked and whistled at us, I laughed, but was no longer surprised. Everything here is normal. This is my life, and even though it's completely different from where I thought I should be, it's exactly where I belong. God used you, Jude, to get me here.
I miss you dearly. I can't wait to hear from you soon.
Jaimie

My Naptime

Dear Judith,
The AirCon hums rhythmically, and the gentle sound of harp lullabies floats across the room. It's naptime in my classroom, but my eyes are wide open, watching for any signs of an wakefulness. This is my favorite time of day. I'm skyping Sam and eating my lunch of Filipino Skyflakes and peanut butter. Vangie is trying to coax Bunny back to sleep, but I don't believe she will be successful. She's one of the most willful little girls I've met. A trial, sometimes, but I love her, and I know that she's going to be a strong woman.
Sometimes, I sit back and wonder who these children will be when they grow up. Jonathan is very sanguine. Banana will be the popular girl, Suki will be the quiet, but friendly intellectual one.
I worry about who they will be when they grow up. Will J. ever catch up with the rest of his classmates? Will K. ever calm down enough to undergo some major behavioral modification? And then my thoughts drift to myself. Am I making an impact on these children's lives? I often forget that they are only babies. Monkey just turned 3 on Saturday. Will the structure that I provide for this year be enough to set the tone for the next? Sometimes i wonder if I'm doing anything more than giving hugs when they're good and time-outs when they're bad. While my precious children are sleeping, I'm analyzing my every action, praying that I'm doing everything I can for these children. Did I let Potato get away with something because he's cute? Did I indulge Monkey while punishing D. for the same crime? Even as I speak, I am disciplining Bunny who has decided to invoke her freedom to not lie down at naptime. I feel like everyday is the same with little or no progress made.
Whoever said that preschool wasn't stressful must have skipped right to kindergarten.

Bubble World

Dear Judith,
Before I came to Saipan, I lived in a bubble. I saw this bubble when I tried to see the world through a different perspective. I felt this bubble every time my soul longed for adventure but I let my fear hold me back. My bubble was comfortable, but I could sense that I was missing the fundamentals of life.
You spoke of a land, and I dreamed that I too could go there, effectively popping my bubble into oblivion. I heard your stories and imagined a world where I would no longer allow myself to falter in trepidation. With one quick phone call and a few short days, I was whisked away to the place you described. But it was not as you described. I felt alone, isolated, separated from the fantasy I had built in my mind. I blamed myself. In this perfect place, why couldn't I too, enjoy bliss?
The night that Rhonda came, before we went to the airport to pick her up, I was home alone. The power was out, and the car was gone. I lit a candle, and laid in my bed. I closed my eyes, trying to drown out the darkness that I felt. I wondered why I was in Saipan, and why I felt so alone. I didn't understand why I couldn't succeed in this place that I had imagined would be so wonderful. My castle in the sky tumbled down, and I sat in its ruins, nursing my sorrow with a cup of tea. Girlie and Megan and Antonee and I went to the airport. When Rhonda walked through those doors, it was as if a light came down from heaven and frightened away all the darkness.
I'm not as strong as Krystin. I couldn't do this alone. I'm not as brave as you. I brought a friend with me. But I can't try to be like Krystin or you, because I'm me. My whole life, I've wanted to be someone else. I've wanted to be thinner or prettier or smarter or funnier, but my whole life, I've been just me. But maybe that's okay. Maybe just me is who I'm supposed to be. Perhaps, my bubble was all of my dreams that someday, I would wake up and be the girl that I've always wanted to be. But maybe I'm here to realize that I can't be anyone else. I am me, and that's all I'm ever going to be. I guess I'll just hope that it's enough.
I miss you, Jude. Pray for me!