Dear Judith,
Friday evenings seem the most convenient time to blog, so I apologize if the tone is similar to my previous posts. Rhonda and I turn off the lights in a simulated power outage and rely on candles for our light. The sweet smell of incense entices us to relax from the stresses of the week as we ease into the weekend.
We've started to listen to Christmas music and I'm looking forward to a break in a couple weeks, though I'm planning on stopping by the preschool a couple of times because I know that I'm going to miss my kids. I never thought that I could love anyone as much as I love them. I'm trying to enjoy every second that I have with them because I know that time goes by so quickly and I don't want to miss anything. I don't know how much time you spent at the preschool last year, but the kids are so amazing. There aren't words to describe how much I care about them. I almost feel a parental love towards them, and I can't even begin to imagine leaving them.
My work schedule changed starting this week, so I go in earlier and get off earlier. I'm hoping that this will lead to more time spent with the other teachers. It's hard, because I feel really disconnected from my friends in America, and I often go the whole week without seeing the elementary teachers. As much as I love my kids, I do enjoy and appreciate interaction with people who have been out of diapers for more than a year.
Three of the teachers are getting off-island for Christmas, but I'm chilling right here. I'm excited to spend time here without working. I'll be able to see more of this island that's beginning to feel like home. Christmas will be a little sad without Rhonda though. I keep singing "Blue Christmas" to her, but she shows little to no remorse for leaving me.
I miss you Judith. I know I say that in every post but it's really true. It helps to know that you've been through and experienced much of what I do. Happy Sabbath and I love you so very much!
Friday evenings seem the most convenient time to blog, so I apologize if the tone is similar to my previous posts. Rhonda and I turn off the lights in a simulated power outage and rely on candles for our light. The sweet smell of incense entices us to relax from the stresses of the week as we ease into the weekend.
We've started to listen to Christmas music and I'm looking forward to a break in a couple weeks, though I'm planning on stopping by the preschool a couple of times because I know that I'm going to miss my kids. I never thought that I could love anyone as much as I love them. I'm trying to enjoy every second that I have with them because I know that time goes by so quickly and I don't want to miss anything. I don't know how much time you spent at the preschool last year, but the kids are so amazing. There aren't words to describe how much I care about them. I almost feel a parental love towards them, and I can't even begin to imagine leaving them.
My work schedule changed starting this week, so I go in earlier and get off earlier. I'm hoping that this will lead to more time spent with the other teachers. It's hard, because I feel really disconnected from my friends in America, and I often go the whole week without seeing the elementary teachers. As much as I love my kids, I do enjoy and appreciate interaction with people who have been out of diapers for more than a year.
Three of the teachers are getting off-island for Christmas, but I'm chilling right here. I'm excited to spend time here without working. I'll be able to see more of this island that's beginning to feel like home. Christmas will be a little sad without Rhonda though. I keep singing "Blue Christmas" to her, but she shows little to no remorse for leaving me.
I miss you Judith. I know I say that in every post but it's really true. It helps to know that you've been through and experienced much of what I do. Happy Sabbath and I love you so very much!
P.S. Here are a few Japan pictures for you!
We were so excited to get Starbucks!
Even the manhole covers were beautiful!
It was so wonderful to see autumn!
The Fire of Hiroshima and Nagasaki, mentioned in my last post
Amen
1 comment:
Friday evenings were always my favorite in Saipan, and admittedly, I still hold them very dear, even now. It's almost unreal how deep love can travel through a person in such a short time; your kids are lucky to experience that love from you.
On a more personal note: Thank you for your thoughts and heart felt concerns about my current religious experience. I truly appreciate it. I guess I was disappointed that everyone responded to how I am doing and not to my actual thesis, which is that Jesus, whether He IS God or IS NOT God, is still an essential figure to look to. The beauty of this statement is that while some may claim not to believe in Jesus at all, they can still model their lives after His and bless the world. In the same way, Christians, especially Adventists, often find themselves caught up in all the other religious doctrines; yes, I have been to church on many a Sabbath and not even heard mention of the name "Jesus," and so, I am sure for the Christian and non-Christian, focusing diligently on Jesus could greatly improve this mess. Moreover, I am not trying on to convince anyone to believe or not to believe, and honestly, I'm not ruling anything out personally, but if I am going to believe in something, it needs to make sense to me, and as of now, Christianity doesn't. If it brings peace to your heart and a deep motivation to share that peace, then I believe that is beautiful. For me, though, it does neither, and in fact, it simply brings upon me feelings of great frustration. I believe in a God, but I don't know who he or she is, and I will wait until the pieces of my life experiences come together and coincide to give me a fragmented picture of who this God is, in their own due time. Perhaps my God is the God of the Bible, but I somehow think not. It seems strange to me that there are so many people in the world, most of whom have created some deity to explain the spirited supernatural that we feel working our lives, and yet we all claim we have the right God and everyone else is wrong. Perhaps they are all the same God, and we have managed to squeeze this God into whatever box we were born to believe in. I have no desire to squeeze this God into anything. You know what I believe in? Love. From love springs forth all kinds of beauty--kindness, gentleness, service, passion, motivation, selflessness, dedication, laughter, and the best of intentions. The God of my heart loves me and loves the world, and since I do not doubt that love, I will work match it; to embrace every kind of person, no matter who they are or what they do, to take care of the soil and the plants, to live responsibly, and especially to live happily, because I think I can share that happiness.
As for me, I am waiting for an epiphany and I believe it will come when my God sees fit. Until then, I will live in love, and what more could any God want then that?
:)Please don't worry for me, my friend. If your God is who the Bible says He is, then He is big enough to convince me on His own. We can just continue being friends and loving each other and I think we will be fine.
Peace, my dear!
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