Untitled

Dear Judith,

Untitled. Unsure. Unknown. That's how I feel now.

January has been long. It feels like forever since we've talked. I really miss you. I miss having someone to talk about Saipan with, someone who can relate to my experiences and tell me that I'll make it out alive.

My dad is coming next month to be the week of prayer speaker and then he'll come to Managaha with us. I'm very excited about that.

I got a counseling job at camp. I hope that I do well. I'm very excited about it.

With every day that passes, I love my kids more and more and more.

Other than that, I feel like I'm just drifting in the waves of what's transpiring around me. I had hoped that this year would provide some direction for my life, but I'm even more confused, if possible.

The people that I expected to keep in touch this year haven't, and the ones that I didn't expect haven't either. I feel very cut off from everyone, and though it's partly my fault, I feel as though I can pull the lonely SM card, an advantage which they lack. I haven't even talked to Krystin in a month. I guess I just expected more, you know? That's most likely causing some of my wanderings.

I have not made a decision regarding next year. I'm considering staying. Can you offer some advice? I've been turning it over and over in my head for almost 2 months, and I have trouble sleeping because of it.

Thank you for letting me vent. You really are a huge support to me. I miss you and love you.

Those Troublesome American Kids!!

Dear Judith,

Most of my time is spent either with my kids or thinking about them, as I'm sure you understand. My love for them is so deep that I can't even fathom it. It shouldn't come as a surprise that I have more to tell you about them.

Bear

Bear is a beautiful, fun, crazy girl in my class. She was adopted, and like most American children here, her mom is a teacher. She has an older brother and an older sister. Her mom and dad are some of the nicest people that I've met on-island.

Bear only has two speeds: Super fast and asleep. She's very smart, though occasionally mean to the other kids. She's very loving, and she can't say her "R's" correctly yet, so I'm often called "Teacho!!" She loves to tell me what the other kids are doing wrong, even selling out her closest friends, but she's a good girl.

Her laughter is infectious, and she's hilarious. The only times she gets time out is for running around the classroom and I envy her energy. Her closest allies are Jonathan and Lee, and she's rarely seen with any of the other children. The three of them fight like crazy, but at the end of the day, wherever one of them is, the others are never far behind.

Jonathan

I call him Jonathan because he reminds me exactly of my brother. He's so cute and charming most of the time, but his mood swings leave me reeling. He's another one of my American kids, and his mom is a teacher at DanDan Elementary. He has an older brother in the pre-kinder class. I've heard his mom say that she'd almost rather stay at school with her twenty 2nd graders than go home to her two sons. They are a handful and a half. Still, I love Jonathan all the more for his quirks.

Jonathan spends quite a bit of his time in the infamous office. Literally, days have been spent sitting on a chair in there. It helps sometimes, but until recently, when his parents started spanking him, his bad behavior would resume as soon as he got back in the classroom. His parents were worried that his behavior would soon resemble that of his older brother's, which it did, and they decided that drastic steps needed to be taken. I'm so thankful that they did.

Jonathan spends most of his out-of-the-office time with Lee and Bear. He loves playing monster in the classroom (which is against the rules), but rarely plays it outside (where it is permissible). The problem with punishing Jonathan is that he is so incredibly cute, it's hard not to let your heart just melt when you look at him. I was once asking him why he was running around the classroom, to which he replied, "My brother was chasing me." I explained that if he stopped running, then his brother would stop chasing him. He looked up at me with huge brown eyes, nearly brimming with tears, and simply said, "But I was being a cat." I almost lost my composure and smiled but I somehow kept it all together.

Jonathan is adorable, and his genes seem promising for a great physical appearance throughout his adult life. He is a great kid, and I can't imagine my life without him.

Lee

Lee didn't want to come to school on his first day, which was also my first day. His mom tried to drop him off, but he refused. Later, he changed his mind and showed up with his grandma. His mom is a teacher and his dad works at PTI. He has a little sister, who he calls "My Baby", but he kindly informs me that I can call her Zoey.

Lee is my boy. He has been since the beginning. Of course, he drives me nuts sometimes. He almost always repeats what I just said to the other kids, with the precursor, "Miss Jaimie just said..." but he is very sweet. He rarely fights with the other children and is almost always willing to share with any of his classmates. Of course, his close cohorts are Sera and Jonathan, the other American children, but he is a friend to nearly everyone in the class.

When I say, "I love you, my boy", he replies, "I love you, my girl." There's nothing in the world that compares to the feeling I get when one of my kids tell me that they love me. It makes every hard and frustrating hour totally worth it.

He's the tallest kid in my class, but he still loves it when I pick him up. He hugs me so tight, and my heart swells with love.

I have the best job in the world. There's none other that offers this kind of satisfaction, and it's all because of those "troublesome" American kids.

My First Week Back

Dear Judith,

Well, I'm finally done with this work week, and it's a good thing for everyone involved. My patience was quite short this week, and my poor kids suffered the worst of it. It didn't help that most of them were getting readjusted to the school schedule and couldn't stop running wild. Still, I've finished this week loving each of them more than when I started.

Banana, Beckham, Bunny, Ricky, and a few others are still on vacation. Not having them around makes my class feel empty, though I must admit that it is nice to only have 11 kids as opposed to 16. Some of them will be back next week, some the week after, but Bunny won't be back until February. I'm so depressed about that. I mean, Bunny is my girl! She went to Korea for a month, and to make matters even worse, Clean Laundry is closed until she gets back, so I have to go to Washland (by Subway in Chalan Kanoa) and no one there is as friendly.

I've been really tired this week, which is either due to my coming cold or is causing it. I've been in bed by 8 almost every night.

All the other teachers are back, but Barbara has a fever, so she cancelled staff retreat that was supposed to be this weekend. I'm okay with it, because I'm not ready to stay up past 8:30 p.m.

I got the stuff that you sent for me! Thank you so much. I love the little book of positive thoughts. You are so sweet. Is there anything that I can send you from here? Anything that you miss? I mean, besides the people.

I love you Judith!!! Hope you're having a great 2009 so far!

Camping Trip

Dear Judith,

I just got back from camping at Managaha with Angie, Amy, and Amy's parents. I think that the next time I feel the urge to go camping, I'll just throw some rocks on the floor and lay down on them. Then, to make it even more realistic, I'll alternate between full blast and no AirCon. I'll throw sand in all of my bags and I'll go a couple days without showering until I'm good and stinky.

I try to like camping, but I just can't do it. I don't see the appeal of sleeping on hard ground and not showering. Everytime I go, I think that maybe this will be the time that I enjoy it, but it just hasn't happened yet.

We got to Managaha on Friday afternoon and set up camp. It was still light out, so we snorkeled for a little bit. I must admit, I did have fun at this point. Snorkeling at Managaha is so unreal. I've never seen so many fish in my entire life. I even saw my first octopus!

Dinner was veggie burgers, which were, of course, fantastic. I still had high hopes for the trip. Darkness descended and we laid on the sand, looking up at the stars. Occasionally we would have bursts of energy which would result in cartwheels, handstands, and spinning around in circles until, giggling, we collapsed on the ground. Amy's dad told us about the stars, and Angie made up constellation names.

We eventually went to our tents, and though the ground was hard, I thought I would be fine. I fell asleep for about an hour, and woke up because it was so hot. There was absolutely no wind at all and I felt suffocated. I laid there for a few hours, drifting in and out of consciousness. I was awake when Amy got up to remove the tarp that was covering our tent. Angie showed me her watch and said, "Don't you just want to jump off a cliff?" It was 12:52, and I already felt like I had been laying there forever. The rest of the night continued in a similar fashion. I think I got about 4 hours of sleep total.

Sabbath was spent snorkeling, relaxing, and reading. We vowed to go to bed later than the previous night, but after playing about 10 hands of Uno, we were bored, and we settled in for the night.

There was so much wind that we thought our tarp was going to rip. It sounded like the world was crashing in on itself and it was impossible to sleep, for me at least. Angie seemed to have no problem at all. Amy took the tarp down at about midnight, but it started raining at about 2, so it had to go back up. I eventually got a little bit of sleep, maybe 2 hours total. Every time I looked at Angie, she looked so peaceful--I just wanted to kick her!

The wind continued all night and into the morning, and made it a little bit difficult to take down camp, but we finally succeded, and loaded everything onto the Coral Queen. I'm home and clean and happy, despite my lack of sleep. I think my favorite part of camping is getting home.

I miss you. Like a lot. And I need to talk to you. Just you. Not everyone else who reads my blog. I love you Jude!

Jaimie

The Holiday Season

Dear Judith,

I'm sorry that I haven't written in awhile. I wish I could say that it's because I've been busy, but this Christmas break has been the most chill, relaxing time that I've had on Saipan. I've been staying with my friend Angie because Rhonda is in America. I can't wait for her to get back, but it's good to have a break sometimes, to realize how blessed you are with what you have.

I did the Jingle Bell Fun Run in the beginning of December and that was a lot of fun. I even won a prize in the raffle! I wear my jingle bells as a badge of honor, that I ran the whole time.

Our staff Christmas party started out at the hospital, giving presents to some kids, which was a lot of fun. Then we met back up at the Maycock's for a white elephant gift exchange. I ended up with a Big Dipper gift certificate so I was happy with it!

My class Christmas party was adorable. The kids were so excited to give presents that they barely looked at the ones for them. None of our parents signed up to bring entrees, so lunch consisted of Winchell's donuts, Choco-pies, and Chips-Ahoy cookies, but somehow, the kids survived with no signs of diabetes yet. I've gone back to work a couple times over break because I miss my kids a lot.

I've been a little bit disgusted with Saipan over this break. I mean, it shouldn't be possible to get more tan over Christmas break or to go to a water park on December 21. Awful stuff, this weather.

Angie and I have been to Oleai at least 4 or 5 times since break started, for their dollar tacos. We went on her birthday and in lieu of cake or ice cream, they gave her a scoop of mashed potatoes with a candle stuck in the top.

Amy's parents have been here, and it's nice to see Dean Foote, who was one of my bosses last year at WWU. We had dinner with them on Christmas Eve and it was delicious, which is no surprise. I awoke on Christmas morning to Amy, shoving a stocking in my face, filled with fruit snacks, yahtzee, and chocopies. Angie and I went to the dental hygienist's house in the afternoon and watched a movie, then headed back home.

Most of my days have been spent in the apartment, sleeping, reading, and watching movies. I would not recomment Love in the Time of Cholera, but My Sister's Keeper (This month's book club book) and The Case for Christ were both good.

The other night, Angie, Megan (office assistant), Joeie, and I had a makeup and hair party. It was a lot of fun, and Angie did my hair really cute. Yesterday, we dyed Megan's hair and did each other's make up again, so as to enter into 2009 in an attractive way.

Last night, we had a fondue party with Amy and her parents, watched a movie, and then drove to Tapochau with Michi and Kei to watch the fireworks. It was so foggy that you could barely see anything, but the company was a great blessing and I can't imagine a better way to start the year.

We're going to Managaha tomorrow with the Footes, and camping until Sunday morning. I'm excited to enjoy the great snorkeling and hopefully work on my tan.

Thank you for your last post. It gave me some insight into how you're feeling.

I miss you Judith, and I'm totally bummed that you're not coming back to camp. Happy 2009 and I love you so much