Tuesday, October 13, 2009

I Miss

Dear Judith,

I just found this document on my computer. I guess I wrote it right after I got back to America. It all still applies.

I miss the oppressive heat.
I miss the blue ocean.
I miss Yellow Mango strawberry banana smoothies.
I miss being noticed by everyone around me.
I miss my class. Oh so much.
I miss cockroaches. It's true, I do.
I miss my incredibly strong support system.
I miss being genuinely liked by the people around me.
I miss my lack of drama and the lack of boys around me.
I miss seeing Asian people.
I miss free mangoes and starfruit.
I miss hearing Japanese.
I miss Rhonda cooking for me.
I miss Rhonda.
I miss being called Miss Jaimie.
I miss the beautiful beaches.
I miss snorkeling and camping at Managaha.
I miss driving down Beach Road.
I miss being able to go to work without driving on Beach Road.
I miss knowing my way around and having a nice car to drive.
I miss late nights with friends.
I miss praise songs at church.
I miss TGIS.
I miss all the kids from SDA.
I miss the Yoshidas.
I miss being someone, contributing something.
I miss the way that I talked.
I miss having something to blog about.
I miss jumping in the grotto.
I miss dancing with Sanchez and Angie.
I miss Sanchez and Angie.
I miss Clean Laundry.
I miss fried bananas.
I miss Street.
I miss apple green tea.
I miss getting dressed up and going to Garapan.
I miss Wave Jungle.
I miss PIC slides, on my stomach, feet first.
I miss Oleai tacos.
I miss tutoring.
I miss Sean's peach cobbler and fettuccine alfredo.
I miss Barbara's salad.
I miss the Maycocks.
I miss the opportunity to get tan.
I miss Bobby Cadillacs.
I miss Sabbath afternoon hikes with the Piersons.
I miss laughing with my Angela.
I miss Cristina teaching me how to act "D.C."
I miss who I was.
I miss the feeling of accomplishment.
I miss my hair.
I miss never seeing white people.
I miss aloe juice.
I miss driving to Banzai by myself, late at night.
I miss freedom.
I miss traveling.
I miss REAL.
I miss feeling like I was home.

Starbucks is nothing. American boys are awful. I just want to be back where I belong.

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

It makes me smile to see someone missing Saipan (AND missing who they are in Saipan) as much as you do. It makes me sad though that you have to go through that feeling of loss.

I've been there, though on the other side. Instead of leaving, I had to get used to being left. Meet new people, be best of friends for a few months, and then let them go has become what it means to be on Saipan. Although you remain friends at a distance, things will never be the same as they were on Saipan.

If there would be any comfort allowed in what I am writing, (I hope I write well in letting you know) then it should be in the fact that all that have left me (taking it personally.. teehee) have done well. Life takes you, makes you busy, and soon Saipan-you is you-wherever you are. Then we that are left behind get to hear about school, then graduation, relationships, break ups, jobs: a life apart from us but a part of us.

You don’t have to lose that part of you and there will always be a chance in the future to come back if you wanted to. Hope that helps. God bless.

SignalFire

Sean said...

You put into words everything in my heart.

(Well except for missing the cockroaches. I don't miss them. At all.) :)

Jai said...

Wow Sean, thanks. I'm taking that as a huge compliment. Most of the time, I feel like my words are pointless and ill-fitting for the emotions which I try to express. Thanks for the encouragement.

Prayer Man said...

I feel so blessed that I know all of those things that you miss. Just seeing them in your list awakened so many memories! Thank you for arranging for your Mom and I to come to share a portion of your experiences with you. Those few, busy days will always be a high point in my life as well.

Maybe that is what draws me towards heaven. We will never have to leave those things and people that mean so much to us. I am so homesick for a place I have never been, but I know it won't be long.

I love you Miss Jaimie...
Daddy